No Such thing as Happily Ever After
by Chubby Bunny the III
Summary: When the hoodwink gain messes up yet another Happily Ever After case. They are sent on a mission that seems nearly impossible.
1. The Prologue

No Such Thing as Happily Ever After

The Prologue

Full Summary: When the hoodwink gain messes up yet another Happily Ever After case. They are sent on a mission that seems nearly impossible. Do they have what it takes to make a happily ever after story. Or will they find that there is no such thing as Happily Ever After?

The clock on the wall was the only sound in the silent office. It ticked as each second passed until it chimed the hour with a loud sound making the occupants in the room jump. As the sound died down the only door in the office opened with a creak. Everyone in the room turned to watch as a long legged frog walked into the room and over to the front of the desk where he sat down and crossed his legs.

"I'm sure you all realize why you're here."

"Um no not really…no." Said a scratchy baritone voice

"Why are we here Flippers?" Asked a voice that was warped with age yet sweetened with kindness

"Then we shall review." The frog called Flippers said as he walked over to filing cabinet and brought out a huge folder "You're past missions. Red, Wolf, and triple Gs lets review shall we?"

The three gulped at the mention of their names as Frog started to read there mission reviews.

~.~.~.~

An old lady with a bent back walked into a small cottage where her companions were lazing around. The old lady bent back up and through the grandmother like clothes on the floor "That's it I am tired of being the old lady for all of these missions."

"But you do such a great job at it Granny." Wolfie said as he stopped tinkering with a sound amplifier

"That's it you can be the granny next time" Granny stated as she waved over in Wolfie directions

"No way. The granny gets to be the old lady."

"An old lady that can beat you into next Tuesday if the mood suits her." Red said as she stopped fiddling with the vials on the table.

Granny huffed as she sprayed she fixed her hair into the usual white tower. "Well this better work."

"Well we've all done our jobs. I lead white to the cottage." Wolfie said "And Red has already set it up where the prince will find her. This is going to be a happily ever after, after all."

Red smirked "In the…" Red trailed off as she fiddled with a vial in her hand before dropping it on the table in horror.

"What's wrong dear?" Asked Granny as her voice turned to sweetness as she addressed her granddaughter

"We need to call the paramedics immediately."

"Why what's wrong? I told you not to eat that mushroom." Wolfie stated as he turned to look over at Red

"No not for me…it's for the Snow White." Red said as she turned the vile for everyone to see "We didn't giver her sleeping draught we gave her REAL poison."

"AHHH" Granny and Wolfie yelled as the meaning sank in. They had just poisoned a princess and the client for there happily ever after agency.

Some happy ever after this was going to turn out to be.

~.~.~.~

"I would like to at this time mention that not only was Snow white in the hospitable for over 5months but so was the prince."  
"Well how were we supposed to know there was still poison on her lips?" Wolfie commented

"It was his fault for trying to kiss a "dead" girl. Who does that? Like yuck!" Red spoke up "I mean we got there as fast as we could."

"AH" Flippers interrupted with a lift of a finger "This is not the only case I would like to discuss with you all. Perhaps we should now discuss the mission of "Beauty and the Beast."

"I'd rather not." Red said just as Mr. Flippers started reading yet again.

~.~.~.~

Wolf ran as fast as he could. After all it was not easy running on an empty stomach. He had told Granny to bring some of her snooker doodles but she forgot them…or so she says. It would have been easier to take a taxi. But this was the middle of no where. Far away places sucked he didn't see how Red could stand this moving around all the time.

"Wow" Wolf yelled as he realized there was more than one wolf chasing after the girl.

He quickly sprinted forward and grabbed a piece of the woman's cloak…just to make it look real. Before he spitted it out, fabric was disgusting and bad for the digestive track.

Wolfie slowed down as he saw a tall house coming into view. Ah this must be the house. With that thought Wolfie started to reside back from the other wolves. He stopped altogether when a huge creature came into view fending off the wolves.

Satisfied Wolfie started to walk back to the point where he had left the rest of the team.

~.~.~.~

Wolfie quickly stood up from the chair "In my defense I had absolutely no idea that that creature was not the "Beast", and for another thing it's you're fault that you didn't give me the address so I could make sure that I had dropped her off at the right house."

Flipper stopped reading "Do you know what happened to Bell?"

Wolfie twitched his mouth to the side and scrunched his nose up. Before lowering his face and tracing the bends and curls in the carpet with his eyes "I might have read about it."

"That was pretty bad." Red said "Why are papers so graphic?"

"I'd like to point out that this was the wolves fault." Granny said

"Oh lets stereotype. Sure it's the wolf there easy targets." Wolfie said in a sarcastic voice mumbling under his breath before speaking up

"Ok I messed up I admit it." Wolfie said as he swung his gaze back up to Flippers "I was wrong I thought it was the beast but it wasn't ok? It was an honest mistake. How was I supposed to know that I had driven her past the Beast's house and into the Bigfoot's territory. Come on, he needs to be a little nicer to his guests. Who attacks there guests these days."

"So far all of you're missions have had the clients ending up in the hospitable for over two months. Lets go on shall we?"

"Once again I don't think that's a good idea." Red said from her seat

"Let's go over Peter Pan." Flipper said "No pixy dust?"

"That is correct." Granny said "Unfortunately the pixy dust was mixed with glitter can you believe that?"

Wolfie snorted in humor "Yeah you should have seen it. They just jumped out of that window screaming I can fly, we can fly! And then…" Wolfie trailed off as laughter overtook him

Soon the whole team was laughing at the memory.

"You find it funny that four children and a shadow jumped out a second story window and were severely injured." Flippers said with a raise of his eyebrow

The room fell silent at his comment.

"No of course not." Red started "It was the way they did it. They really thought they could fly."

"They were supposed to." Flippers stated "And let's not even get started on the case of the princess and frog."

"Yeah I hear the princess will never eat frogs again." Granny said on a sigh "Shame there really good."

"I will remind you that it was you who had thought of changing the prince into a frog."

"It was a huge misunderstanding. She was supposed to kiss him not eat him." Wolfie stated

Red nodded "I mean who eats a frog when there dating one just like it out in there pond."

Flippers nodded his head "I do understand that in this fairy tale you made this a joke for my birth day…"

"Well yeah but we didn't think the frog would get eaten." Red said slowly as if talking to child younger than herself.

"Could you name to me one mission that in the last two years you have made into a happily ever after ending?"

The group fell silent as they thought amongst themselves "Ah ha I know the little mermaid."

"Ah yes although it is true that the mermaid and the prince had a happily ever after ending. Unfortunately the crab did not. You failed to keep the crab safe from the castle's chief."

Flippers sighed as he put the file back into the cabinet. As if these aren't enough lets review Aladdin."

~.~.~.~

The three stood in the sand and watched as the "old man" kneeled and screamed out his misfortune. Wolfie grinned as he took off his disguise as a palace guard. Red smiled as she crossed her arms and stared at the huge piles of sand. Granny let out one of her own smiles as she took out a box of treats. "Would you like some dears?"

"Thank you Granny." Wolfie said as he reached out to take one

"Here let me light a lamp so that we can see." Red said as she struck a match and lit a lamp

"Hey where'd you get that? It looks a lot like the lamp that the genie was in." Wolfie said as he stared at the lamp in Red's hands.

Red paused from taking a snack for herself and looked over at Wolfie and gulped.

Wolfie's eyes widened in understanding "No…you didn't…you couldn't…you did!"

Granny's eyes swung to the lamp and she sighed "Flippers is going to flip."

"How could you forget to put the lamp in cave dear?"

"You were staring at the sand again weren't you?" Wolfie accused with appointed finger before he to sunk to the sand and screamed out his aggravation just as Jafa did a little while ago. "How could you it's SAND"

"Sorry." Red said

~.~.~.~

Flippers sighed "This just proves that every mission you have done had ended in disaster! Thank god you are not the only team working for ever after other wise this world would become a dark and dismal place. So far the only people with happily ever after stories have been doctors."

Red and Granny looked at each other with regret before looking at Wolfie who had sat back down.

"So does this mean were fired?"

"No, we will send you on another mission and see how you fair. If you fair badly you will be disciplined."

"So what is the next mission?" Granny asked with narrowed eyes of determination

"You will be helping a young lady that has been forced into servitude by her evil step mother and sisters. You're job is to help her catch the attention of the young prince in the area."

"Sounds easy enough" Red stated

"Hm the folder is on my desk and do not disappoint me." Flippers stated as he walked out of his office

"I advise that we do not screw this one up I don't even want to think about how were going to be punished." Wolfie said with a stretch

"Hmm who knows what'll happen" Red said as she stood up herself

"Now who'd like to go to my house from some sweets" Granny said as she tried to sweeten the mood.

~.~.~.~

Ok so here's the prologue, tell me what you think! This is going to get better I promise!

Also this is something I will write in my spare time so it'll not be updated regularly. It's pretty much something to make people laugh.


	2. Cinderella those Shoes are Dangerous

No Such Thing as Happily Ever After

.

Cinderella those shoes are dangerous!

.

Red ridding hood muffled her giggle with her hand by stuffing it into her mouth. She couldn't believe that they had actually gotten Wolf to dress up as a fairy god mother; she equally couldn't believe that Cinderella was buying it. Wolf was twirling and fluttering as he started singing the song that the creative department had come up with. She and her grandmother were quickly moving fast by quickly exchanging the pumpkins for a carriage and so on.

And with the last of the fairy dust they had they changed Cinderella into the most divine princess that they had ever beheld. Of course that might be because they had never tried so hard or gotten this far in any of the other cases. Twitchy was running around a mile a second taking all sorts of pictures as fast as his twitchy little digits could move. Grandmother and she were now hiding behind a hedge watching as Wolfie or fairy godmother waved goodbye to the petite blond in the carriage who was practically crying with joy.

"Just a few more stops and we won't get that punishment." Grandmother said as she kneed her way back up to standing, playing the card of the frail old lady when she was anything but.

"Yeah, I mean who gives a punishment without even telling someone what it is, it's just not natural." Red said as she herself jumped up with much more energy than her grandmother. She started to walk to where Wolfie was flinging the dress off himself and jumping on the fabric again and again while wiping the makeup off himself in disgust.

"That was just so wrong." Wolfie said with a shiver,

"Aw come on Wolfie, I thought you looked rather nice with it on." Grandma Pucket said with a smile hidden some where in the tone that she used. She slowly walked over to the rest of them before opening her bag and bringing out a small glass jar.

"Let's not get started on that, we only need to make sure nothing happens at the party and we're home free." Wolfie offered as he threw his high heeled shoes into the bushes "I will never cross dress again." Vowed Wolfie under his breath as he turned back to the group just as Twitchy came running back.

"Right let's just hope that we don't mess anything up." Red looked over at her grandmother that was now shaking the bottle up and down. "Is that the sticky potion for the shoe?"

"Yes, all that's left is to apply it." Pucket said as she started to walk off to where a yellow taxi was waiting for them playing an inviting tune.

Wolfie took one more look at the distasteful garment before following after the whole group. "Glass shoes, who would wear glass slippers, those regular high heels were killing me." Wolfie muttered as he slammed the door shut.

"Please you just have a low threshold hold for pain it's not that bad." Red lifted up her hood to hide the smirk that was threatening to give away her humor at Wolfie's sacrifice.

"Does this look like it's painful to you?" Wolfie yelped as he brought his paw into her face showing the red lines that were rising in an alarming speed. It made Red hiss in a breath at distaste at not only the site but the sheer smell reeking off of them.

"Ok, I get it get those things out of my face." Red muttered as she pushed his foot out of her face. Red and Wolfie paused when they noticed Grandma signing and soon joined in on the off beat chorus, making the cabi driver contemplate driving off the near by cliff.

"I've heard every album, listened to the radio, waited for something to come along that was as good as our song." The trio sang as they closed the taxi door and started up the servant stairs so that they could watch how there charge was doing. Twitchy rolled his eyes as he followed the taller of his companions up into the bustling kitchen. He was following faithfully until he saw a gleaming piece of silverware that drew his attention. And twitchy being twitchy was helpless against its allure.

The other three went along not realizing that they had lost one of there more responsible team members. Red skipped along to the refreshment table and grabbed a cookie and watched as Cinderella swept into the room ensnaring everyone's attention. Red grinned at her grandmother to signal work well done when Cinderella only blushed and smiled at the large crowd.

Wolfie yawned as the prince walked up the stairs with a bestowed expression. "I think maybe we'll do it this time after all, I mean look at that expression." Wolfie waved a sausage link at the couple that was slowly making their way down the stairs.

Red smiled and sighed as she watched them start out a waltz, she watched how the couple swirled and twirled making the dance look like an elegant embrace. "This has to be the best happily ever after."

Grandma sighed "What would make this perfect is if they were serving some wonderful Cheesecake, nothing says romance like a lovely sweet baked with love." Pucket smirked as she saw Cinderella's step-sisters face turn red in envy and greed. "Their faces should be green,"

"No, those are good for any occasion, if you needed an occasion to eat a sweet than the woods would collapse financially speaking." Wolfie muttered logically as they all watched the couple float right into the garden.

"Alright, it's already eleven thirty, where did the time go? Anyways, I think that it's safe to go ahead and put the goods on the tenth step down." Red whispered as the entire group of available woman gathered to the entrance to watch as Cinderella and the Prince continues dancing in the garden.

Red paused on her way out of the ballroom to watch as the couple was overshadowed by the moon and the plant life seemed to add to the other world factor. Looking at this scene she could almost believe in an ever after, nothing had seemed as magical as this. She found that she wanted to stare at the scene all night long. But knowing that she had to add to the last part of the fairy tale she quickly snuck up the stairs and into the still night.

She ran down the stairs until she found Wolfie and Grandma bent over a stair gently applying the concoction that they had spent all week making themselves. "How much longer, we only have five minutes left."

"Done," Grandma said as she shook the bottle to get the last of the potion out before heading down the rest of the stair so that she could watch there scenario play out. The other two followed shortly where they than congregated at the bottom the stairs so that they could have a good view of what would happen next.

"So did anyone else notice the way that old man had that huge sparkle in his eyes as he eyes those two? If you ask me he was a little too happy." Wolfie said as he crouched down so that he would be noticed.

"Aw you look to deep into things." Grandma muttered as she herself leaned against the wall "I found this whole fiasco of a mission to be way to boring, I mean where was the thrill of flying down a mountain, or the rush of falling through the cloud knowing that the ground is hidden by all the white."

"You should be happy that he gave us a mission that wasn't to hard grandma, and Wolfie he's what eighty years old of course he'd want children." Red rolled her eyes as the clock ticked for a few more second before it rang with the coming of a new day. Red quickly shushed everyone despite the face that no one was talking "Here she comes,"

Red was practically laughing and jumping in glee when the figure showed up at the top of the grand stairs. They watched as the young woman went running down the stairs her dress billowing out behind her. And then something went wrong, dreadfully, fearfully wrong. It made everyone gasp in horror, including the young woman that seemed to pause in mid air before the law of gravity kicked in and sent her tumbling down the rest of the stairs, all one hundred and thee of them.

"Umm guys what exactly was put on the stairs." Red whispered as Cinderella came to a rolling stop three feet away from the first step. It was only after Cinderella didn't jump right back up that she feared for the mission that was unraveling at the seams.

"That's not important right now," Wolfie said as he picked up a nearby stick so that he could go walking over to the woman limp body. When he was a few feet away he started pocking her with said stick. "Uh hello Cinderella, Wakie wakie Cinderellie." Wolfie muttered as he started poking her harder with the stick, it was only after he had made sure she was breathing that he stopped throwing the stick into the cobbled streets.

"Well, at least she's still alive," Grandma whispered as she came to stand around Cinderella along with others. Grandma turned her head and saw the young Prince start to come out of the castle. "I mean it's not like anything can," Grandma started never noticing the looks of horror on her companions faces behind her, begging her to stop before she continues "get any worse,"

As soon as the words were out the sound of a huge explosion ringed through all their ears, even the Prince turned back to the castle wondering what was going on. The sight that was beholden was nothing but disastrous. And even the thoughts of unemployment went skipping across the mind in gleeful mockery.

For in the castle above the beginnings of fire were racing out of control. The flames were racing for the sky where they could breathe there fills of deprived oxygen. It was taking over the whole right of the castle and swiftly moving in all directions. The red and orange flames danced in glory at the sight of crowds of people racing out of the building never suspecting the step of slippery goodness that awaited them.

And just below the steps was a trio swiftly backing away from the lighted castle and the doom that was now hanging over all that escaped for their lives.

"Love had gone away, gone away, gone away, gone away; Love has gone away, gone away." Wolfie half whispered half sung as he watched the flames burst from the window reaching for higher ground. He was forever backing up even as the first of the people reached the steps and flew for only those few seconds.

"We are all screwed," Red whispered in horror as she looked from the limp body to the rapidly blackening house never hesitating in her steps

"I think that if were not put in jail were going to be getting that punishment mission." Grandma offered completely forgetting about her grandmotherly image and moving faster than the other two.

"Yes, I think that's exactly what were going to have to do," Red said as she nodded slowly in understanding in horror as they all made it to the tree line only pausing when they caught sight of the dust that was coming from the red and orange covered castle.

There eyes widened in horror when the face was directly in front of them grinning with ignorance. One word was spoken, one word sealed their fate.

"COFFEE"

~.~.~.~

The four of them were once again sitting in the overly floppy chairs facing the impending figure of a frog. But unlike any other time where they would feel uncomfortable even a little ashamed all they could feel was astonishment.

Never had anyone in the room seen a frog the particular shade of red that Flipper now was. It wasn't like they couldn't understand. They hadn't burned down a whole castle and brought most of the people inside to there impending doom of a stretcher without expecting something awful to happen.

"So dose this mean that were fired?" Red whispered into the silence that was only filled the ticking of a never ending clock.

Flippers sighed and started to rub his head as if he felt a headache come on, which also would not be uncommon since hiring the team that was now in front of him. But he needed this team, for he had sent every other team he had to try and solve this happily ever after, and no one could do it. He was leaning very heavily on the logic that if nobody could than they could, since the saying if they can than there's no way we can, had worked very well for this group. "No you're not fired."

Wolfie gulped as if being fired would have been much more desirable than finding out what exactly they had to do. "So what exactly is it that we have to do."

"It's just another case, much harder than any you have ever done before." Flipper said waving his hand as if to say that it was nothing that serious, lying straight through his hand. Everyone knew that it was serious that everything that was them depended on saving this mission.

"You're sending us on a harder mission? When we can barley do an easy one?" Pucket said in wonder. In wonder of what Flippers was eating, where was the logic in this statement.

"The Prince from the marshes of Selcia has had his eye on the Princess from Laragon for some time. He will be visiting the princess for two months. In those two months he wants the princess to fall madly in love with him so that he can ask for marriage with no chance at rejection." Flippers explained bringing the folder from his desk where he than handed it over to Red with eyes that said fail this and you'll all wish you had been fired.

Red gently took the folder ignoring the trickle of unease that race down her spine "We understand sir we will get started immediately on ideas that we can use to bring these two to their happily ever after.

"Good, do not mess it up. Now I believe it's safe to bring Twitchy to sick bay, I understand that coming off a high of coffee can be rough, especially seeing how it was straight coffee beans." Flipper said as he opened his door to allow the group of four out of his door. He watched as they shuffled out of the door looking everywhere but at his face.

Seeing as how another figure came up to the door he was unable to close it. "Aw Robin Hood," Flippers called out recognizing the green hat that lied on the pile of auburn hair. Flippers allowed the man into the room with a smile before gently shutting the door. "What brings you here today?"

Robin took his hat off his head and gently ran his hands through his hair before he realized what he was doing and stopped only to start fiddling with his hat that had a feather in it. How so many people could be afraid of a frog with unnatural legs was beyond many people until the meeting with said frog happened of course. Putting these thoughts aside Robin cleared his throat. "I've been thinking on the mission that my team and I had failed to complete last month."

"Yes," Flipper urged, he would love to hear what was going on in that thieving head. Any news on the mission that he had just sent the misfits on would help in any way.

"Perhaps there is no happily ever after for this couple because it is not destined to be so." Robin offered as a way to explain his team's failure. No matter what they had tried nothing had worked, as if the woman was blinded to everything that they had set up. "I mean maybe Arianna is destined for someone else instead of Falcon."

Flippers contemplated this as he stared at his favorite clock that set just right on the wall above his head. "Perhaps your right, we will quite this mission if the last team I sent dose not make any progress at all."

"No offence sir but there anything but organized and orthodoxy." Robin said with raised eye brows at the never ending faith that he put in the team that screwed up again and again.

"That is very true," Flippers allowed as he turned his eyes back onto the confused man in front of his desk. "But when is love ever any of those things? I believe that this mission might just need some of these qualities to crack it wide open. Perhaps with a little chaos the young Arianna will open her heart and discover what it is she wants and needs exactly."

~.~.~.~

A/N: Short I know, but we're diving into the deep plot line now. So the next chapter should be a lot better. I hope that my writing has gotten a lot better since I wrote my last chapter!

Ok now an activity for everyone! Please write to me and give me ideas of ways to get a reluctant proud young woman and a dark mysterious man together. Remember the ideas will have to end in a humorous way. So this might be a job that you can PM me for! The person with the best idea will have a chapter dedicated to them and the idea used. There can be more than one winner!


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